1.Who else is better at perving on young woman than men over 80?

Sccouting for trout

If James Bond is a misogynist (according to Daniel Craig) then that is a perfect reason for Sean Connery to put the tuxedo back on and head straight to the bar for some young trout. Everyone knows that old men make the best pervs! However if 007 had to have a blue pill to help him get a stiffy then that would make for a different film.

2.Scottish people are dangerous

trainspotting - Scouting for trout

If you want a great spy then you do not want the guy who sounds like he studied at Oxford and went to South America for a ‘gap yah’, you want they guy who sounds like he has had a mild stroke, it is the last thing they bad guys will expect. The English accent is far too posh for Mr Bond, he needs to sound like an extra from trainspotting.

3.He has had years of drinking practise

martini - scouting for trout

Daniel Craig looks like he would struggle on a night out, he would be in the kebab shop and in the taxi before 12. Sean would drink Daniel under the table as not only is he is Scottish but by already playing James Bond he knows how to handle a martini. Sure 007 have a few drinks… then drive home in your Aston!

4.It would be the last thing the bad guys would expect

The baddies in these films may as well work in Hollister, they are in peak physical condition, so imagine when a 85 year old man with a hip replacement turns up not knowing where he is or how he got there, that is the last thing they will expect.

5.Less money would be spent on fancy gadgets

If Connery replaced Craig then there is no way the new Bond would have high-end, high-tech, fancy gadgets, no sir. The new Bond would have a mobility scooter equipped with cup holders and 13 horse powered engine.

6.He would be really cheap!

Actors these days have huge salaries however if we got the big man involved I bet we could get him super cheap! He must have no money by now so he will probably take any job he can get! Fuck it he would take a job at Aldi at this rate!

7.He has more personality than Daniel Craig

Sean - Scouting for Trout

Considering Daniel is as dull as dishwater it would be refreshing to have someone there who has a personality. In the past 3 Bond films I thought 007 looked like a groom that had been brought on his fiancés hen do. If we had Sean Connery on the scene we would be guaranteed a bit more excitement, who else wants to see him try to pull the waitress with his smooth talking stories of the past?

8.He’s over qualified

For Christ’s sake the man was in Indiana Jones! If that doesn’t qualify you to be able to be the next James bond then I have lost faith in humanity. Highlander, The Untouchables, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. If that does not make you a strong candidate then I do not know what will.

What do you think? Should Sean Connery be next in line to be the new James Bond?

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