Date at University

1.The Athletic One


Every athletic trout will snigger at a kebab made from the not so finest lamb and dog meat, but if your personality does the trick then maybe you can be out of breath for a reason other than the fact you’ve become a fat bastard…

2.The Trout Who Loves to Party


Now don’t get me wrong we all love a good night out, but this trout LOVES a night out. Imagine a trout splashing in and out of a river, they just look so god damn content.

Okay chances are you pulled her not because of her endearing personality, but the fact after 5 pints of stella she looked a bit of all right and has passed the limit of the how many pints theory.

A usual date will be cutting shapes on the dance floor, probably getting VIP off some promoter who deep down sees her for something more, but you know that at 3am after cheesy chips she’s coming home to you with a guaranteed hungover to knick your hoody the following day.

3.The Trout That Goes to Church


So you might be a nice guy, but compared to her ex-boyfriends you are Dan Bilzerian on steroids. It may seem like a bad idea to date a bible bashing trout; however they do want the kinkiest sex so really it is a no brainer.

She will guilt you into going to 8am mass on a Sunday or hungover mass we call it, but as long as you can move past that you will be fine. The downside to dating a Trout that goes to church is you will never get her parents approval, but really who cares as long as she says “Oh God, Oh God…”

4.The Trout That is Dumb and Hot


Sometimes conversation is over rated and you just want to get something stored in the wank bank. This is where this kind of trout makes its mark and as you hit your 30s think what you used to “do” on a regular basis.

5.The Trout That is Your Friend


All your mates tell you that you should be together, but let’s be honest nobody sane wants to fuck their own sister. Friends with benefits takes a whole new meaning.

6.The Perfect Trout


Funny, smart, beautiful, caring and she gets you. The ultimate Fish and Chips supper.

It will sadly end once you both graduate and she gets a job in London and you have to go back and live with your parents, but hey it was fun while it lasted and curry and chips will always be a cheaper option when it’s christmas and birthday time.