If you’re starting a romance with a potential trout and you want to take things to the next level, no we are not talking about moving in with her, we are talking about sending that controversial dick pic.

Sexting has become a very normal thing in the digital age with millions of fishermen sending dick pics to their trout every day, however, we guarantee you are doing it wrong!

Here at Scouting For Trout we are going to tell you the correct way to send nudes as believe it or not there is some etiquette involved.

Let’s begin…

  1. Do Not Have Your Face in the Photo
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Rule 1: Never show your face! If you’re planning to send your trout a dick pic then the first bit of advice we have to give is that you should never have your face in the photo or it could come and kick you in the ass if things go wrong.

This may seem obvious, but a lot of fishermen leave things in photos that identifies them. If you’re sending a dick pic stay anonymous.

Trout are like men and they will show their friends and if they see your face it makes you instantly identifiable which also has its negatives when  you break up.

If you have had a messy break up she may be inclined to be a bitch and distribute your nudes and hey guess what? It has your fucking face in it so everyone knows it is you and you cannot even deny it. Moral of the story no face.

2. It is Not All About Making it Look Bigger

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It’s easy to get obsessive about trying to make your junk look bigger than it actually is.

If you’re trying hard to find angles and body positions to see if your dick looks bigger then you probably shouldn’t be sending dick pics. The majority of trout will actually not appreciate a photo of a huge dick you are just highlighting your own insecurities.

Avoid props to make it look bigger. So no bottles of beer, TV remotes or Mini Mars bars. You are trying to turn on a trout not enter your dick into the Olympics.

3. Do Not Get Too Artsy

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When it comes to nudes less is more so do not get too creative with the image. This is a dick pic not a painting in the Louvre. Okay so putting an instagram filter on the image can work, but don’t upload it for god’s sake!

4. Avoid Sending A catalogue

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If you start sending dick pic after dick pic you are going to scare the trout off, remember the whole point about sending a nude is so you can receive some and eventually lead to a shag.

She does not need the Argos catalogue of dicks to understand you are looking for a shag, too many images can result in her thinking you are desperate, a perv or just an arsehole.

The trout you are sending a nude to only needs one. She isn’t trying to buy a dildo.

5. Don’t Send a Dick Pic to Someone Who Does Not Want It

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This is where your situation reading skills really come out; never just send a dick pic out of the blue on a Tuesday morning.

Try and ease them in by using apps like snapchat. This makes it a lot easier as the skill is sending something naughty, but also something normal at the same time.

For example you could send a snap of you going into the shower with just a towel on to see how she responds. If you get a flirty response then that is the green light, if she acts uninterested then it is probably not the right time.

6. Wear Clean Pants

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No trout wants to see your skid marks and that is a fact!

Make sure you are wearing your freshest pair of Calvin Klein’s if you cannot afford them then super dry, okay if not super dry then Hollister and if you cannot afford them then borrow a pair from a mate. No fisherman wants to be caught in a pair of Tesco value boxers or tighty whities.

7. Shave

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Shave your balls fisherman! Do not get lazy!

If a trout sends you a photo of her hairy bush it would be a relationship killer…

8. Make Sure You receive Something in Return

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The whole point of sending nude photos is to receive one back so do not forget that.

This is about applying carful pressure as too much can come across as desperate, it is all about playing with people emotions.

If you play her well enough she will be just as turned on as you and she will not need as much convincing otherwise it can be an uphill struggle.

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