There are many Car Owners we all hate, so we want to rant it all out! Here are 8 types of Car Owners we all hate

  1. The Lazy Sunday Drivers

We cannot fucking stand these OAP, classic car driving motherfuckers.

For fucks sake no one cares about your restored Ford Capri and do you have anything interesting to talk about other than you have been waiting 9 weeks for a part to arrive? Okay so our rant is led after being behind one yesterday, but come on do you really need to drive at 20mph when you are in a rush to get to Toby Carvery?


2. The Mum Mobile


Bitch we do not care that you car has enough space for 17 screaming kids and a Labrador we wouldn’t want to drive your car even if we had to drive it off a cliff.

This typical type of owner is octomom with a fucking load of kids and her only journey is driving from her house to the kids school and yet she still manages to piss us all off, it’s not the crappy car that annoys us it is the pretentiousness that comes this it for NO REASON!

We have no clue why they think driving around in beat up people carrier makes them a better person.

3. Gangsters


These type of car owners think they are cruising around in a 50 cent music video, however, their Vauxhall Astra with added spoiler and tinted windows does not quite make the mark.

They will try to convince you that their £18,000 Astra built in Ellesmere Port has the same value as a Lamborghini because for some reason multi-spoke wheels, a shitty wrap and the fact that it is covered with more carbon fibre than an F1 Car makes it on the same par.

These types of owners are really easy to spot as they are always cold as their windows are permanently down, with Vanilla Ice blasting outwards wearing a pair of fake Ray Bans called Rey Bans instead.

4. Just Passed My Test

The classic ‘just passed my test owner’ are arguably the biggest arseholes of the lot they can usually be found in a McDonalds car park still in their school uniform thinking that they are now a pimp. Think The Inbetweeners and that yellow piece of shit that ended up in the lake.

The reason why they are the biggest wankers is because they are usually driving around in a crappy Fiat 500 that daddy bought them, how kind… no bloke should drive a Fiat 500, fit trout we will let off!

5. Lad Who Thinks He is a #Baller


Unlike the ‘Gangsters’ the lad who thinks he is a #Baller is a very unusual type of car owner!

Usually you can spot them looking for a parking spot near a Nandos as they listen to deep house planning their next holiday to Ibiza because Amsterdam “couldn’t handle them”.

There are some similarities between this type of owner and the ‘Just passed my test’ types as they are both idiots and drive motors that their parents bought for them, the first choice of car for this type of owner is usually the likes of a Mercedes-Benz A-class AMG line as they want to say they own an AMG without actually paying for one.

They also claim the red painted disc breaks makes their car high performance…

6. The Chelsea Tractor Lot


For whatever reason it has became really fashionable to own a massive 4×4.

Probably due to the increase of footballers and celebrities seen driving them and as you can guess, these lot are dicks too. No one likes to drive behind pretentious, rich trust fund babies personally we would rather run a razor blade across our balls before getting behind these, big ass, mother fucking depreciating cars.

Honestly half the time we are like, who the fuck would buy these, and then we remember, ohhh that’s right, wankers.

7. Fucking Environment Friendly Owners


Fuck you and your electric cars, if you want to help the environment then get a push bike so we can run you over in our V8 and help the environment by saving air. If coal fire has created the electricity are you telling us that it makes your car green?! Okay… deep breath.

8. The Smack Heads


They will own the shittiest car and are usually parked outside a job centre or a betting shop, if you see this outside anywhere else call the police as odds are they are robbing it.