8 Tips for a One Night Stand on Holiday
- Lay a Foundation with Your Trout
Finding a suitable Trout to have a one night stand on holiday with or even a sweet holiday romance with is dead easy… let me introduce you to the Trout POND AKA the swimming pool.
Trout always hangs around the pool, it’s their natural habitat. They stay in the hotel all day trying to top up their tan making it perfect circumstances to do a little bit of fishing… you just have to use the right bait.
One you have picked your trout get them into a ‘favorable circumstance’ an ideal scenario is at the pool bar this gives you the perfect opportunity to spark up some conversation and importantly lay a foundation, as this is key to gaining a top quality trout to be so proud of you will want a picture to hang up on your wall.
2. Build Rapport
Rapport is key in any situation when pulling a trout for a one night stand on holiday, but more importantly when on a lad’s holiday as you only have a limited amount of time to make them like and trust you.
Remember you’re only there for a week so remember it’s a numbers game and a single rod is no match for a big fuck off net when catching a trout.
The best way to build a rapport is by asking questions about them. She’s on holiday so ask about what she has planned, where she’s from and flirt with her. Don’t go overboard with flirting though because no fisherman wants to be saved by his mates when the catch has gone, so try and find the right balance. Play your cards right and you’ll have a one night stand on holiday
3. During the Day Date
Never ask a trout on a date while on a lad’s holiday. What you need is an activity that involves both your lads and her group of friends. This also give your mates a chance to do their own bit of fishing.
We suggest synchronized swimming or beach volleyball.
4. The Power of The Squad
Never underestimate the power of having an entourage on holiday for it’s far easier to fish with a boat of fishermen than just one sailor.
Trout always swim in groups and if you go up thinking you’re Brad Pitt on steroids, all we can say is good luck. If you want to have a one night stand on holiday stick together and think of the program Deadliest Catch for the risk is worth the reward.
Hopefully after enough rapport and banter with your trout you can suggest pre-drinks back in your hotel room.
Go to the local off-license and pick up some cheap dodgy vodka and start boozing alongside some weird shit you’ve never heard of to get the conversation flowing; just make sure you pace yourself as you don’t want to be twatted by 10pm and not make it out the room unless you have reeled that trout into your net.
6. Clubbing Essentials
At the clubbing stage it’s all about dancing and atmosphere so NO TALKING SHIT… you’ve talked enough, for now is the final stage to try and reel in the trout to your boat.
Just get involved with the dancing at this stage the booze has taken its effect and you’ll soon think you are strictly come dancing on crack. Get close and personal with your trout with some light touching and if you can sneak in a cheeky grind or pull we say go for it what have you go to lose? If all goes well you will have achieved your mission of a one night stand on holiday.
7. Know Your Way Home
You’re in unfamiliar territory so just know where the taxi ranks are.
Okay so we do recommend getting an Uber, so you can worry about keeping her turned on and Sadaq can worry about getting you home. but Magaluf and Malia are a little behind in technology so put in some preparation and know your taxi ranks.
8. Wear a Condom
Mate there’s loads of sexually transmitted diseases going around and on holiday it is easy to fall into a false sense of security… put something on the end of it and wrap up like your on a cold day in Glasgow.