1.NO LOCAL TROUT

Red pushpin marking a location on a road map, selective focus

Ok so if you are going to cheat on your girlfriend you have got to do it right which mean acting like a SAS solider. No distance is too great in fact the further the better! That way the likely hood of your girlfriend running into her or worse knowing her is very slim. You want undiscovered land, why do you think Christopher Columbus travelled the world? What to discover America? No it was to find a

2. NO REAL DATES

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As soon as you starting doing ‘Real Dates’ it is game over she has 100% became your girlfriend. The moment of exchanging gifts or dinners you basically have two problems instead of one. Having a side chick should be an in and out job no cuddling and no sleeping over remember you already have one girlfriends bullshit to deal with do not make it 2.

3. DON’T CHEAT WITH UGLY TROUT

Scouting for Trout 3

The worst thing you could do is cheat on your girlfriend with an ugly trout, you want to avoid that as if you were to ever get caught you have an upgrade waiting. Losing your girlfriend to an ASDA cashier is like selling you Ferrari for a bus pass.

 

4.MAKE SURE SHE IS A DIRTY

Scouting for Trout 4

You are not cheating just to get the same old sex you are after some nasty stuff. Sex with your girlfriend sucks and you know it to get away from that you must ensure that the girl you are cheating with is an animal. To find out if she is suggest every freaky, dirty and nasty thing you can think of and as soon as she says no drop her.

5.NEVER GIE HER YOUR REAL PHONE NUMBER

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Get a pay as you go mobile, that way you can stay under the radar, and make sure you keep that thing hidden like Anne frank. The last thing you need is sending wrong text messages because you WILL get found out. Having a separate phone ensures that you can keep all messages private and no be found out by your girlfriend.

6.Don’t tell ANYBODY

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I cannot stress this enough you may think your mates are loyal however one wrong move and they will spill the beans. That goes for not just friends, co-workers, family, hobos, jesus because they will at least tell one person and it will snowball!

These rules are law my friends you should be safe if you follow them, happy scouting!!

 

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