1.  How does it taste?

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Maybe it tastes of chicken? Everything tastes like chicken right? Okay maybe a liquid form, but protein is good for anyone so you are doing her a favour no matter what it tastes like.

2. She better not want a snog after giving me a blow job!

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She’s just done her duty and then suddenly those wet moist lips raise upwards from under the bed sheets towards your mouth as you are lying there with your pants by your ankles. You anxiously look left, then look right. It’s time to get out of bed pronto, offer a drink and come across like the nice guy when the reality is you want that mouth nowhere near your own sweet lips.

3. Could I try and do it myself?

 

 

 

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We’ve all heard those rumours of Prince having ribs taken out just to pleasure himself, but have you ever given it a try? Unless you are carrying a subway footlong in your pants and are an Olympic gymnast to boot chances are slim to remote. Yet that wonder of what it’s like will always remain…

4. Fuck I should of shaved my pubes…

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There’s nothing worse than when you know that you are about to get lucky and then that sudden brace of fear hits you like a great big trout to the face as you realise that manscaping has gone a miss and your bush is bigger than a Jackson 5 afro.

As she sucks on your lollipop a mouthful of hair awaits for some lucky trout, we just hope for your sake that your man piece is longer than your average pube…

5. How many blowjob has she given?

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You would be foolish to think that you’re the first guy she has ever given a blow job too. I mean come on if she is 23 with a full time job she hates then the nookie is what this trout looks forward to the most. Meanwhile sudden thoughts run through your head as she goes headfirst into Man heaven…  “I better not cum so she thinks I can last for days… Do not cum, do not cum…”. “Fuck, Bollocks… I came. Time for dinner?”.

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