It becomes a badge of honour at University as to what you can “borrow’ that’s if anyone asks of course. How many of these have you steal whilst drunk?
It may seem like stealing a construction cone is stupid, pointless and uncalled for, that is because that is exactly what it is. You have not successfully completed university without stealing a cone while you’ve been drunk, you might as well throw that degree in business economics right out the window. In all fairness the thrill of stealing a cone is far more enjoyable than what you have to do with the cone when you get it back to your flat. Now you have a cone in your flat what can you do with it? Fuck it put in in your dick of a flat mate’s room, problem solved.
We have all turned up to Tesco drunk trying to buy more booze, but what are you going to do after they knock back your ID? Steal a fucking trolley of course. Do you know how much fun you and your squad can have with a trolley? It’s epic! Steal it and get it back to the flat, it can be the perfect transporter to get rid of that mountain of rubbish you have as you have not put the bins out in 8 weeks.
3. Pint Glasses
What do pissed people want? Besides more alcohol! Something to drink your alcohol from of course! Your halls will never have glasses, so while you’re drunk just steal a load of empty pint glasses from your local. Why would they care about a few missing glasses when half of your student loan has gone into their till?
Whether it’s at house parties or down in the pub when you are drunk, stealing booze is like a footballer cheating on his wife… it’s always going to happen. We put it down to the fact that when you’re drunk it’s the thing you need most (Beside cheesy chips and a good shag of course).
We would recommend stealing drugs from your friends not drug dealers, otherwise chances are you will end up with a horse’s head in your bed. The best kind of drugs are free drugs so while one of the stoners are struggling to find his feet, steal his weed. This makes the after party back to the flat a hell of a lot more exciting and will probably make that kebab taste a heck of a lot better. Either that or those yummy brownies…