Your #CatchOfTheDay

  1. It starts before you even get ready to go out. Tidy your room, leave a lamp or candle on to create an atmosphere upon your return. Plug in an air freshener or spray some aftershave around the place, make the bed, put on a good long playlist that will be ready and waiting on your return. Basically make your room somewhere she will want to come back to. to your new piece of trout.

 

  1. Put away your Kate Upton poster and make sure there isn’t anything lying about that could ruin your Dan Bilzerian image that you’re trying to sell. Leave the geeky shit in the cupboard.

 

  1. In the words of the Army, Proper Planning and Preparation Prevent Piss Poor Performance. Tug one out in the shower before you go out. You don’t want to get back with a 10/10 and it all finish in 15 seconds. That will not leave her gagging for more.

Scouting for Trout Catch of the Day Hmmm Little Fish shower tug

  1. When you get to your fishing spot of choice, don’t get shit faced. Get merry, you want to be able to perform but without any nerves of bagging a prize specimen trout.

 

  1. Find a target. Do your thing. If I need to tell you how to catch your trout, this article probably isn’t for you. Take her back to your dimly lit, atmospheric man cave and do what you do best. Be a giver, make her think ‘this is what you could have regularly’ to get her wanting more. You could call it luring her into a certain sense of security that she can go to her happy place every time she’s with you.

hook line and bait - scouting for trout

 

  1. Breakfast – don’t do it. This is the first step to avoiding anything datey or relationshippey. Say to your Trout that have to be somewhere… but you’d love to get her number and ‘see her again’.

don't have trout for breakfast - scouting for trout

  1. Give her a hoody and book her an uber. The hoody because its great excuse for her to come over and ‘drop it off’ one evening, Uber because its easy, will impress her that you want to make sure she gets home ok, and once its arrived there’s no fucking about, get her out the door.

 

  1. Forget the three day rule, Snapchat is your new best friend. Work the wit and be confident. Any snap of her in skimpy PJs, showing off a bit of side boob or anything at all is totally intentional. Green Light.

snap chat is a trouts best friend - scouting for trout

  1. Get her over for ‘Netflix and chill’, you both know what that means. Stick on Suits or Homeland or something generic wont distract from the reason you’re both actually there.

 

  1. Don’t go on dates with her, don’t ask her, and if she mentions something, you’re busy. Dates lead to feelings. Feelings are bad. Enjoy the casual trout for what it is. Fishing can be for enjoyment, not just necessity.
Comments