- He Used to be a Woman
Charlie Sheen has had a fucked up life so if he comes out saying he used to be a woman would anyone be surprised? With Bruce Jenner now changing the game by becoming Caitlyn Jenner perhaps Charlie Sheen wants to become Woman of the Year for 2016 and reinvent himself as Charlotte…
2. Charlie Sheen Drives a Nissan Micra
You may think Charlie Sheen has a lot of money and that he could buy any car he wants, but after spending millions of dollars on shutting people up and keeping stum about having AIDS, it might just be that Charlie Sheen drives a 2006 Red Nissan Micra.
This could well be another dark secret he is hiding, but here at Scouting for Trout HQ we say hold your head high Charlie Sheen and take pleasure in knowing that you drive a car that was also voted ‘Most Likely Car to Have a Murder Weapon Found in it’.
3. Charlie Sheen cannot Sleep because he has issues with Game of Thrones
Game of Thrones is a marathon and poor old Charlie might just be having sleeping problems for the fear of the red wedding happening to him and his family.
Drugs really do fuck people up and Charlie Sheen has probably had his fair few. Don’t be surprised if Charlie’s x girl friends make him do a Cersei Lannister and get him to walk naked through Holywood whilst shouting, “shame, shame”.
4. Charlie Sheen Got Bullied at School For Being an Everton fan
In all fairness… we don’t care what the red side say either, but never the less we would drop kick our own nan if we found out she was an Everton fan and Charlie Sheen is no different.
5. Did Charlie Sheen star in a Low Budget Porno Called Two and a Half Women, in which the half woman was in fact a Midget?
This could well be another hidden secret that Charlie Sheen is hiding. As a serial shagger and porn lover nothing is impossible. Okay so he might not get paid the same amounts as he did previously, but Red Tube would go wild for such kinky heroics.
We’re not saying it would be worth a watch, but it would certainly spice up your Netflix and Chill sessions as you see Charlie go at it with a dwarf dressed as a smurf.
6. Before Acting was Charlie Sheen working in Ainsley Harriot’s Restaurant as his Number 2?
Why did Charlie Sheen go into acting? It might just be that he had a very promising career working in Ainsley Harriot’s restaurant. Perhaps the reason he would have left was he was doing drugs and hookers in the cold meat fridge and let’s be frank Scouting for Trout fans who wants to have a sausage after its been near Charlie Sheen’s own? A recipe for disaster.
7. Pehaps Charlie Sheen was Sued by Disney Land Florida as he Would Go There to Scare Children?
Disney take scaring children very seriously, but what did he expect after dressing up as Jimmy Saville and Hiding in the Tea Cups and jumping out at kids? Okay so we are only joking, but what if this was true and in the end Disney agreed to drop this mythical law suit if Charlie agreed to come and do Pirates of the Caribbean 12: Cocaine on Black Beards Dick. A long shot, but would be an interesting secret to keep.
8. He Invented Pork Pies
Strange but true. Just imagine if after all this time Charlie Sheen actually invented this wonderous health wonder of the food world.
9. He is Actually Peter Crouch in Disguise
Yep Charlie Sheen is Peter Crouch in disguise. Imagine the headlines it would make if it were to be true.
10. Imagine if Charlie Sheen actually went to Prison for 6 Months for Stealing Pick and Mix
Don’t do the crime if you can not do the time. Choose your pick and mix carefully Charlie just like your trout. Stay safe and wear protection and we are not talking about the bag your candy comes in.